Blogs

Lost Classics - Kya: Dark Lineage (PS2)

Released in 2003 to very little fanfare by a company that was known only for producing driving simulators, Kya: Dark Lineage came out of nowhere as a 3D platformer that was ambitious to make itself heard in a world that was already overcrowded to the point of bursting. No doubt, many gamers looked at the simple cover art and the fact that it was developed by Eden Games (who?), and dismissed it outright as being unworthy of their attention without even the respect of a rental. This is a

Mister Zero's Retro Rumble

December 8, 2009

Street Fighter 4get It

I've recently been raving a lot about Street Fighter IV and it's problems. Most people I talk to don't understand what annoys me about it, so I've decided to dedicate my first ever blog entry to the issues I have with the game. Let me first start by saying this rant is based on the XBox 360 version of the game, you know, the one where you can't use the default Xbox controller to play with because it registers so terribly? Spending $30+ for a new controller on top of buying this game should not

Mister Zero

November 21, 2009

DOS Fun - Daughter of Serpents

Combing through the archives, I thought it would be fun to review some classic games here in the blog, and since adventure games have always been enjoyable to me, I decided to write about a quirky and unique but often frustrating and entirely too short one from the DOS era. "Daughter of Serpents" (also released later on CD-ROM and re-titled "The Scroll") is a point-and-click graphics adventure along the lines of King's Quest or Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. But while those titles wer

November 11, 2009

Borderlands - More Mad Max Than Fallout 3

I was very nervous picking up Borderlands. Sure, I'd read all the reviews that said what a fun game it was and all, but after all, I already have Fallout 3. Did I really need another game set in a post-nuclear style area where everybody is searching for a Vault? I plucked up my courage, deposited my money at the local game store, drove home and discovered that, yes, I absolutely did need another post-nuclear style game that has 87 bazillion different types of guns. Keep in mind, I'm playing

November 4, 2009

Amusing Product Placement In Video Games

If you don't remember the third-person action/survival horror title "Run Like Hell: Hunt or Be Hunted," don't be too disappointed with yourself. It's understandable. After all, the game was in development for five years, went through producers, artists and programmers like wood chippers going through storm-tossed trees, and saw a 100% code rewrite starting 10 months from its shipping date. The fact that it even landed on the market in 2002 is a wonder in itself. RLH, as it is most commonly a

October 27, 2009

Be Excellent to Each Other 2009

As the saying goes, better late than never. In this case, it's just because I found out about it, it's on Friday the 23rd, and thus I have way, way less than 24 hours to write this post about why you wish that you lived in Minnesota right now. "Be excellent to each other." It was good advice when Bill S. Preson, Esq. & Ted Theodore Logan gave it to us back in 1989, and it's especially good advice today. Because in this case, being excellent means kicking out the jams and pulling out all

October 23, 2009

Creeps For Free: Divi-Dead

WARNING!! WARNING!! WARNING!! WARNING!! This blog entry deals with a game that features adult subject matter, including adult language, mature sexual themes, and graphic depictions of violence. If you are easily offended by such things or have not reached the age of consent for your area of residence, please do not read any further or click on any links featured within. In keeping with this month's recurring horror theme, I'm cranking it up a bit (hopefully without violating any posting r

October 18, 2009

Doing It Right: The Jump-Scare

Let's face it - if you've been gaming for as long as I have, it's quite likely that your first exposure to a game that threatened to actually make you change your underpants was Resident Evil. And if there's one area in Resident Evil that is more likely to have actually made you need to change your undies than any other, it was one of the most infamous jump-scares in video game history: when the dogs break through the outside windows and into the narrow hallway. Even if you suspected something

October 13, 2009

A Little October Fright

Note: this is a cross-post of an editorial that I wrote for Intelligent Gamer, another gaming site that I contribute to on a semi-regular basis. I figured it was gaming related, though not video game related, and deserved a spot here on my blog. And actually, as of about 5:30 today, the article hasn't appeared on IG's website, so you get a sneak preview of it here first! Who loves ya, babes? * * * * * Thirteen Little Scary Story Starters At a loss for something to creep out your role

October 6, 2009

Retro Moment: Teddy Ruxpin, Devourer of Childrens Souls! (Four AA Batteries Not Included)

Look into the depths of my eyes! Here we have Teddy Ruxpin, a toy from 1985. Teddy Ruxpin who we will refer to as "T-Rux" for short, was a teddy bear that had a tape recorder stuffed into him. While he looks innocent to the naked eye, upon turning him on....he instantly has control over any child's soul. T-Rux was more effective than Ritalin in the late 80's and much cheaper. Some people think that T-Rux's cassette tapes contained subliminal messages, but to date no evidence has been found to s

October 2, 2009

An Important Public Service Announcement

The safety of children online is not just my responsibility or your responsibility or the parents' responsibility. It is everyone's responsibility. Online, children are exposed to things that were never meant to be seen or heard by the young or the old. As an example of this, and a reminder to all of our Retromags readers to take this kind of thing seriously, I give you the following public service message in its entirety. Use this image. Keep this image. Post it on your break room

September 30, 2009

Phillyman's WIP - GamePro Issue 3 (September-October 1989)

Now that EGM Issue 5 has been scanned, I decided to give Gamepro some love! Yet another early issue is getting scanned for preservation. GamePro Issue 3 was published in September/October 1989. Remember that we are still looking for GamePro Issue 2 as its currently missing! Should have this scanned in a few days, I have been distracted for a while but that is over with. Its now time to scan!

September 28, 2009

Where Did You Get Your (Nick)Name?

I've gotten a few PMs since I joined up at Retromags from other members asking me what my name means, or where it came from, so I figured it would be a good idea to answer that question out in the open, once and for all. First of all, Areala is not a misspelling (intentional or otherwise) of "areola". One is my user name, the other is a part of the body. Just figured I should get that out of the way. Those of you who were reading small-press comics in the mid-90s may have guessed where my n

September 27, 2009

Areala Goes Up A Level!

On my PS3, that is. It's been a long, hard battle, but I have finally achieved Level 7 in terms of my trophy score. I've put a lot of hours into getting those suckers, and I'm quite happy to see that it is paying off. My proudest achievement is still earning the Platinum trophy for Dead Space; beating that game on Impossible mode was hell on earth, but I slogged through it and earned my just reward. So far, it's the only game I have managed to get a Platinum for, though I am close with Fall

September 26, 2009

Natalie Portman + Diablo = ?

Another one of my favorite Easter Eggs. Boot up Diablo (the original) and use Print Screen to grab a copy of the title screen where you can start a new game and whatnot. Now, close the game, open up your favorite image editor program, and use the Paste command to dump the screen image into the program. You should get something that looks like this: Looks innocuous so far, right? Big red demon, some title screen junk, and nothing at all about Natalie Portman. As a wise Jedi once note

September 23, 2009

Most Memorable Battles: Super Metroid

Spoiler Alert: This blog entry describes the plot and final battle of Super Metroid on the SNES. If you haven't played this game to completion and do not want the ending spoiled, you shouldn't read any further. I grew up gaming. One of my earliest memories, in fact, is of my father holding me up in front of a pinball machine (the Gorgar table) and helping me hit the buttons on the flippers so that I could bounce the silver ball around. I think I lasted all of about twenty seconds, but wow, w

September 21, 2009

Phillyman's WIP - Electronic Gaming Monthly Issue 5 (December 1989)

I am currently working on scanning Electronic Gaming Monthly Issue 5 from December 1989. I have currently scanned 32 pages so far and hope to have this issue scanned within the next few days. I will now be using the Blog system to keep everyone updated on my scanning progress.

September 20, 2009

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-10 (Puzzle)

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-10 (Puzzle) Information World: Metro Level: 10 Type: Puzzle Par: 4 Hint: Provide a hot meal, something to wash it down and a sweet treat! This is a basic level, your goal is to feed the chef. How did I do it? I wrote "turkey" and then "milk" and then "candy" and gave each to the Chef. Make sure to interact with the oven after this. If you have any other ways to solve this level, feel free to let us know via the comment system below

September 20, 2009

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-11 (Puzzle)

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-11 (Puzzle) Information World: Metro Level: 11 Type: Puzzle Par: 4 Hint: Get rid of the rats, but don't hurt the chef's dog! This is a tricky level, you cant use a gun because of the gangsters in the restaurant. How did I solve it? I wrote "cat" to kill the two mice at the bottom, and then I wrote "mouse trap" to kill the mouse at the top. If you have any other ways to solve this level, feel free to let us know via the comment system below

September 20, 2009

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-9 (Puzzle)

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-9 (Puzzle) Information World: Metro Level: 9 Type: Puzzle Par: 3 Hint: Wake the boy and feed the girl breakfast! This is a basic level, your goal is to feed the girl and wake the boy. How did I do it? I wrote "eggs" and gave them to the girl, and then wrote "alarm clock" and turned it on. If you have any other ways to solve this level, feel free to let us know via the comment system below

September 20, 2009

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-7 (Puzzle)

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-7 (Puzzle) Information World: Metro Level: 7 Type: Puzzle Par: 3 Hint: Clean up the spill and throw away the trash! This is a basic level, your goal is to clean up the shop. How did I do it? I wrote "broom" and handed it to the worker, and then I put the banana peel in the freezer. If you have any other ways to solve this level, feel free to let us know via the comment system below

September 20, 2009

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-6 (Puzzle)

How to Solve Scribblenauts Level 2-6 (Puzzle) Information World: Metro Level: 6 Type: Puzzle Par: 3 Hint: Score! This is a basic level, your goal is to score on the goal keeper. How did I do it? I wrote "soccer ball" and threw it in the net. If you have any other ways to solve this level, feel free to let us know via the comment system below