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The red-headed step-blog of Retromags.com

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If I Could Turn Back Time - Why Care About Old Magazines At All?

I've attempted to introduce a few real-life friends to Retromags, both through visits to the site in general and trips to my blog in particular. Several of them were quite excited by the prospect of leafing through old Nintendo Powers, especially those who are, like me, now in their early to mid thirties and remember trading cheats out of the Classified Information column on the playground or trying to figure out a way to beat Warmech in Final Fantasy. Others, though, scoffed at the idea of a
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Lost Classics - Kya: Dark Lineage (PS2)

Released in 2003 to very little fanfare by a company that was known only for producing driving simulators, Kya: Dark Lineage came out of nowhere as a 3D platformer that was ambitious to make itself heard in a world that was already overcrowded to the point of bursting. No doubt, many gamers looked at the simple cover art and the fact that it was developed by Eden Games (who?), and dismissed it outright as being unworthy of their attention without even the respect of a rental. This is a
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When Anti-Piracy Schemes Backfire

Piracy itself is a topic for another blog entirely, so tonight we're just going to focus on Titan Quest itself and showcase a small sample of what happens when you take anti-piracy schemes to the next level. You remember Titan Quest, don't you? Of course you don't. It was developed by the now-defunct Iron Lore Entertainment, and published by THQ, Inc, and it was targeted at the market of people who were waiting for Blizzard to get around to releasing Diablo III. And like most every other PC
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power 04

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #4 I've had a change of heart and decided to continue my "Let's Read" series for a little bit longer. I'm having fun doing it, and that's what counts, because this is my blog and I am allowed to change my mind for no reason whatsoever, so nyah. As you can see from the cover shot, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is the focus for this issue. This is a posed cover with an actor dressed as Link looking down on a manequin made up to look something like a sleep
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #9

Let's Read - Nintendo Power #9 1989 comes to a close with the Nov./Dec. issue of Nintendo Power, but the big N isn't leaving the 80s behind with a whimper. They're going out with a BRICK. Or rather, a bunch of bricks in the form of a puzzle game from a Russian mathematician that would turn adults and children alike into absolute zombies in the coming months. I'm talking about none other than Tetris, and its impact on the gaming world makes it ripe for inclusion as this issue's cover feature. "G
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Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force

There's no way I can keep myself from writing about the most awesomely bad film I've seen in years. And given that there are actually people who read this blog on occasion, hopefully this means that one or two of you will take the time to find a copy and watch it too, because I swear that you won't believe a word I write until you too have witnessed it for yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force! OK. Tell me, honestly: you walked into a video
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Creeps For Free: Divi-Dead

WARNING!! WARNING!! WARNING!! WARNING!! This blog entry deals with a game that features adult subject matter, including adult language, mature sexual themes, and graphic depictions of violence. If you are easily offended by such things or have not reached the age of consent for your area of residence, please do not read any further or click on any links featured within. In keeping with this month's recurring horror theme, I'm cranking it up a bit (hopefully without violating any posting r
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Computers Learn to Abuse

Most people who have spent any significant portion of time around computers are aware of the style of program known as a "chatbot". This is a simple piece of software programmed with some degree of artificial intelligence that can "interpret" what a user is typing, and then attempt to carry on a conversation with that person. Really good ones can often fool the general public, and every so often, someone will write one and unleash it on some unsuspecting chatroom and then sit back and watch th
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Letter to My Past Self

Akira Yamaoka, for the Silent Hill 3 soundtrack, composed a song entitled "Letter - from the lost days". Sung by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn, it's the narration of the present-day protagonist directed to herself some years in the future, expressing her hopes, dreams, and fears. It's a hauntingly beautiful track:   But while flipping through a book of inspirational writing ideas yesterday, one in particular caught my eye. The suggestion was to write a letter to yourself in the past. Amidst
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #7

Let's Read - Nintendo Power #7 When I started doing this series, it was actually this particular issue that I was looking the most forward to digging back through because the cover features Mega Man II, which is one of my favorite NES games of all time. Aside from Issue 1, this is the earliest issue of NP that I have in my collection, and I believe I acquired it through a promotion that Chips-Ahoy cookies ran where if you sent in a few UPC symbols, you'd get a free issue of the magazine
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Theresia (DS) - Point and Click and Die

I had to have it. The minute I laid eyes on it in my local game store, I knew that it was coming home with me. If there's one thing I'm a gigantic sucker for, it's horror-themed games. And as soon as I took Theresia off the shelf and read the description, I knew there was no chance I was leaving the store with exactly the same amount of money as I walked in with. No chance in hell. Theresia is a point-and-click adventure game developed with more...mature...themes in mind. We've seen
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AD&D Horror Done Right - Jacob's Well

While unpacking some boxes of my magazines today, I ran across an issue of Dungeon magazine (number 116 to be precise, November 2004) that made me stop what I was doing and filled me with a desire to read the article advertised on the front cover. As a 30th anniversary celebration for Dungeons and Dragons, this issue listed the 30 greatest adventures of all time to appear under the D&D ruleset, any version. The list was chosen by the editors as well as a team comprised of some of the bigge
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[Let's Read] - Zod Wallop by William Browning Spencer

The first time I read "Zod Wallop," I had just graduated from high school and was working away the summer before my transition to freshman status at Ball State at the local public library. I saw it on the shelf, mentally asked, "What the hell is this?", took it home, and read through it in two days. After I returned it, I never saw a copy come through again, and for a while I had forgotten about it. Then, several years ago while working at the bookstore, a paperback with an odd title c
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Amusing Product Placement In Video Games

If you don't remember the third-person action/survival horror title "Run Like Hell: Hunt or Be Hunted," don't be too disappointed with yourself. It's understandable. After all, the game was in development for five years, went through producers, artists and programmers like wood chippers going through storm-tossed trees, and saw a 100% code rewrite starting 10 months from its shipping date. The fact that it even landed on the market in 2002 is a wonder in itself. RLH, as it is most commonly a
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Little Smile Makers: Link's Awakening

Fair warning: Spoilers abound from here on out. If you haven't played the game, leave now or suffer the indignity of having one of the best Game Boy games ruined for you without playing through it yourself. The appearance of the beloved "Legend of Zelda" series on the Game Boy was a reason to rejoice for many series fans, giving gamers hours of entertainment while they explored the little island of Koholint, a place that was but a dot on the Hyrulian map, and yet seemed to contain far more secr
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Retro Picks - Areala's Top 10 Casual SNES Games

Following up on my previous blog entry, I decided I would make this concept more than a one-time deal. So this time, instead of NES titles, we'll look at my top 10 casual SNES games. Remember, this isn't about long, drawn-out games that take hours of levelling or days of practice to complete. This is about games you can pick up, play for a little while, and then put down again when you don't have very long to sit in front of your TV. 10 - Super Tennis As noted in the previous blog, there ar
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3

Resident Evil Prototype Preview

Even if you played the daylights out of Resident Evil, even if you can beat the game handily with an S-ranking and one hand tied behind your back, you've never seen Resident Evil quite like this... EGM previewed the original Resident Evil for the Playstation back in issue #75 in their "Next Wave" column. This was over two years before the game made it to the US, and still very much in its beta stage. And wow, what a difference a couple of years makes! Click that picture to your left and chec
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6

Solo Board Game: Intruder

I always thought somebody should make some kind of board game based on the Aliens universe. They've made plenty of video games based on the property after all, on everything from the 2600 to the modern-day consoles with the pending release of Aliens: Colonial Marines. There was also a fun "Aliens vs. Predator" collectable card game released in the 90s. Surely somebody somewhere thought about a board game, right? Well, they did. It was called "Alien", it was released in 1979 as a board game
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #11

I didn't make the connection until just now, but the cover to NP#11 is obviously an homage to the original clay modeled cover of the premier issue. We're now nearly two years into Nintendo Power's run but their momentum is only building from here on out. If you need to ask why, just take a look at that cover again: they're talking about the biggest, most hotly-anticipated video game release in NES history. Hey, piezanos, it's Super Mario Bros. 3! But first, more big news rocking the Nintendo Wo
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New Political Resolution - The Lemon Party

So, I'm sick and tired of politics. I have had it up to here with stupid people making stupid statements that they have no intention of honouring once they get into office. We're now involved in three different military actions directly, God only knows how many indirectly, and it's just getting ridiculous. How zarking hard it is for any of you bozos in politics to just tell the freaking truth? Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, Green, Tea Partier, Blue Dog, Conservative, Liberal
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4

Another Year Passes

Holy crap, it's been well over a year since my last blog post. How on earth does that happen? I guess 2014 just got away from me, that's all. There's really nothing else I can say beyond that. I haven't abandoned the blog or anything, I just don't have all that much to say about gaming at the moment. Most of my work here on Retromags as of late involves the magazine database. Just as few minutes ago, I put the finishing touches on the index for issue #50 of Computer Gaming World, and befo
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5

Borderlands - More Mad Max Than Fallout 3

I was very nervous picking up Borderlands. Sure, I'd read all the reviews that said what a fun game it was and all, but after all, I already have Fallout 3. Did I really need another game set in a post-nuclear style area where everybody is searching for a Vault? I plucked up my courage, deposited my money at the local game store, drove home and discovered that, yes, I absolutely did need another post-nuclear style game that has 87 bazillion different types of guns. Keep in mind, I'm playing
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3

Ebert: "Video Games Can Never Be Art". Areala: "BULLSHIT!"

You know what? I'm sick and tired of this decades-old mantra being trotted out by every two-bit critic who can't even be arsed to involve himself or herself with the object of his/her derision. I honestly thought we were past this nonsense when Roger Ebert first decided to throw the idea that video games cannot be art out into the open years ago. One would have assumed that the immense number of people (both gamers and developers alike) who took offense at this might have made him re-think hi
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #5

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #5 Ninjas didn't just suddenly become popular with the arrival of Robert Hamburger's "Real Ultimate Power" website, that was more just the icing on the cake. For the real birth of the ninja power lovefest in the western world, you have to go back to the 1980s, when ninjas were sort of like the Nazis of film and video games. You could have them commit all sorts of heinous crimes (like kidnapping presidents or hijacking arms shipments) without anyone in the wor
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Having Fun With Hindsight - Flux Magazine #4

You're familiar with the cliche "Hindsight is 20/20" right? Of course you are, that's why it's a cliche. But that doesn't mean that we can't have some fun with it anyway. So to get this party started, I'm going to pick on Flux Magazine for a little while. Flux was a magazine from the mid-90s devoted to comic books, music and video games. It didn't last for very long (a mere 7 issues) but it attempted to brand itself as the more "mature" alternative to EGM and the like. What this mea
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