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The red-headed step-blog of Retromags.com

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Andrew Oliver: "Preowned games bigger than piracy." Areala: "BULLSHIT!"

(Note to Penn & Teller: no infringement on your popular TV show is intended by this blog's title). You may not know who Andrew Oliver is, or why he would make such a comment, or why I am ranting about him, and that's OK. Andrew, along with his brother Philip, is the co-founder of Blitz Games Studios, a small development house from the UK which specializes in licensed titles, especially in the realm of software aimed at younger gamers. Remember all those Xbox games Burger King sold in thei
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Playstation Move & Project Natal: Does Anyone Care?

No, seriously, ignore the hype Sony and Microsoft have been dumping into the press about their new motion controller Wii-toos for a minute, and think. Do you care about this? Do you know anybody who does? The answers you come up with, after careful consideration, are more than likely, "No," and "No," respectively. I'm not hating on either Sony or Microsoft (I own a PS3), and I'm no Nintendo fangirl (I don't own a Wii). I'm simply asking the question that nobody else in the gaming media seem
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Retro Picks - Areala's Top 10 Casual SNES Games

Following up on my previous blog entry, I decided I would make this concept more than a one-time deal. So this time, instead of NES titles, we'll look at my top 10 casual SNES games. Remember, this isn't about long, drawn-out games that take hours of levelling or days of practice to complete. This is about games you can pick up, play for a little while, and then put down again when you don't have very long to sit in front of your TV. 10 - Super Tennis As noted in the previous blog, there ar
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The Stones Beckon... - Barrow Hill

Picture this: it's the middle of the night, you're driving through the countryside by yourself, your only company is the voice of the local radio station's DJ talking at you via your stereo system. You notice you're getting low on gas, so you make a diversion to a service station for a fill-up, and that's when it happens. Everything just stops working. You get out of the car to find out what's going on, and a mysterious energy field blocks your passage back the way you came. Now there's noth
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Ebert: "Video Games Can Never Be Art". Areala: "BULLSHIT!"

You know what? I'm sick and tired of this decades-old mantra being trotted out by every two-bit critic who can't even be arsed to involve himself or herself with the object of his/her derision. I honestly thought we were past this nonsense when Roger Ebert first decided to throw the idea that video games cannot be art out into the open years ago. One would have assumed that the immense number of people (both gamers and developers alike) who took offense at this might have made him re-think hi
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The Creator of Scratches Vows To Scare You Again

Some of you may not be familiar with Scratches, and if that's the case, then I pity you because you missed out on one of my favorite graphical adventure games of all time, and one of the creepiest games of 2006. It casts you as Michael Arthate, a horror novelist who hit paydirt with his first book and is now looking for a suitable atmosphere in which to complete his sophomore effort. His idea? Buy the oldest house he can find, and live there to let the atmosphere surround and penetrate him to
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Retro Picks - Areala's 10 Favorite Casual NES Titles

Sometimes you just can't be as hardcore a gamer as you want to be. Sure, there's nothing like sitting down and marathoning through a game like Dragon Warrior in a 20-hour stretch of levelling madness, but as you get older and summer vacations become a thing of the past, most of us don't get that kind of quality time in any longer unless you wind up both independantly wealthy and without a significant (or dependant) other. So what do you do when you want to game, but you only have an hour or le
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Areala's Retro Music Picks - Slumlord Toilet et al

This is not your typical Areala blog entry, as will readily become apparent when you keep reading. I know that normally my writings deal with video games of some kind, and occasionally books, but today I decided that I have neglected music long enough, and it was time to fix that. And what better kind of music to write about than the kind that has been relegated to the clearance bins of history but that is still deserving of your attention. There's certainly plenty of it out there, especially
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AD&D Horror Done Right - Jacob's Well

While unpacking some boxes of my magazines today, I ran across an issue of Dungeon magazine (number 116 to be precise, November 2004) that made me stop what I was doing and filled me with a desire to read the article advertised on the front cover. As a 30th anniversary celebration for Dungeons and Dragons, this issue listed the 30 greatest adventures of all time to appear under the D&D ruleset, any version. The list was chosen by the editors as well as a team comprised of some of the bigge
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power 04

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #4 I've had a change of heart and decided to continue my "Let's Read" series for a little bit longer. I'm having fun doing it, and that's what counts, because this is my blog and I am allowed to change my mind for no reason whatsoever, so nyah. As you can see from the cover shot, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is the focus for this issue. This is a posed cover with an actor dressed as Link looking down on a manequin made up to look something like a sleep
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #3

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #3 I've always thought that every so often Nintendo chose some odd titles to give cover treatment to with their magazine, and this issue's focus on Track & Field II is probably the first time I thought this. Granted, I've never been into sports games, so that probably explains some of it. But did they really think that anybody in their right mind would list this game alongside the likes of classics such as Super Mario Bros., Metroid, or Legend of Zelda?
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #2

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #2 Powering on (bad pun, bad pun) from our last [Let's Read] brings us to Nintendo Power #2, which has probably the most infamous cover art of any Nintendo-produced magazine in the company's history. Yes, that is Simon Belmont of Castlevania fame holding Dracula's severed head by the hair. A closer inspection of the image reveals Dracula's heart, ring, fingernail, and eyeball laid out on the cloak where the evil one has fallen, and a bloody hand reaching
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[Let's Read] - GamePro #1

Let's Read : GamePro #1 Phillyman requested that I do this one next, so that's where I'm going. If this isn't where you wanted me to go, then you've only yourself to blame as nobody else spoke up. So tell me what you want me to do next with a PM or a comment, otherwise I'll start picking things myself and you'll just have to suffer anyway. Make it easy on yourselves. GamePro #1, May/June 1989 - 60 pages - $3.50 So it's been roughly a year since Nintendo Power launched, and some
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[Let's Read] - Nintendo Power #1

Let's Read: Nintendo Power #1 You've probably seen on YouTube or other internet video sites the "Let's Play" idea, where one person sits down with a game, a microphone, and a screen capture utility and proceeds to play through an entire game while offering running commentary, pointing out secrets, and in general just showing off what the game has to offer. Well, I'm not cool enough to have a video capture device or a microphone or the desire to sit and blabber my way through hours of
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Come Get Some! - Duke Nukem 3D (PC)

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum." -- Duke Nukem Laugh if you must, but I was one of the gamers who was utterly heartbroken to hear the long-time-coming announcement that Duke Nukem Forever was to be no more. I had long ago accepted the fact that I had been jilted, and that Duke was long gone, probably too busy off kicking alien pseudopods to bother with the likes of starring in another video game. But still inside me, there was a part, a tiny little pa
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Turning Back Time Again - More Ruminations About Old Magazines

Presumably at some point Phillyman will find a better blog entry to feature on the front page than mine about why I care about old magazines and it will no longer be featured so prominantly. Since this is a sort of follow-up to the original entry, I thought I'd better make sure that I pointed to the original which can be found right under this rock here. While it is a follow-up, it's not a direct sequel, and you can easily read this entry without having read the other. I just love shameless s
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Before They Were Games - The Warlock of Firetop Mountain

November of 2009 saw the release of a new roleplaying game on the Nintendo DS (at least here in the US) entitled "Fighting Fantasy: The Warlock of Firetop Mountain", developed by Big Blue Bubble Inc. and published by Aspyre. In it, you take on the persona of an adventurer who is very interested in getting his (or her) hands on the loot inside the previously-abandoned Dwarven mountainhome of Firetop. Legend speaks of treasure troves of gold coins, sparkling gemstones, and magical trinkets galor
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The SaGa of Final Fantasy Legend II (GB)

Quick: when is a Final Fantasy game not a Final Fantasy game? Answer: when Nintendo decides to rename a different Squaresoft RPG in the hopes of capitalizing on the fame of the Final Fantasy name. This was the case with a series of games released in the US on the Game Boy. In the US, we know them as Final Fantasy Legend I, II and III, and Final Fantasy Adventure. In Japan, however, they're two completely different series. Final Fantasy Adventure is actually Seiken Densetsu, the precursor to
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Let The Hate Flow Through You - The Worst Star Wars Games To Date

I will level with you by starting this blog with the caveat that I am in an incredibly foul mood at the moment. But rather than doing something constructive with my rage, like tossing small children into deep wells or drugging really ugly men at the bar and leaving them in my neighbor's front yard without their clothing again, I decided I might be better served (and avoid inconveniences like court dates and prison sentences) to compile a list of horrible Star Wars games. I'm aware that this is
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A Cold Day In Hell - Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

"Anxious" does not even begin to describe my feelings when I discover that there is a new survival horror game coming out. As you've no doubt figured out by now if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, horror games are something I simply cannot get enough of. And while there are a number of franchises that compete for my attention, none is more apt to receive my gamer girl bucks than the perversely fascinating titles in the Silent Hill series. Having played through every entry i
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Books

Night In The Lonesome January - Happy Birthday, Richard Laymon

I'm awakened by the sound Of rain against my window It's getting harder to ignore But these tired eyes need rest. -- "Flourescent Skies", Assemblage 23 I read a lot. I know this will make some of you wonder "when?" given the amount of time I spend going on and on about games, either playing them or writing about them, but despite the fun of interactive entertainment, there's nothing quite like a good book. Also, I make my living working in a used bookstore,
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If I Could Turn Back Time - Why Care About Old Magazines At All?

I've attempted to introduce a few real-life friends to Retromags, both through visits to the site in general and trips to my blog in particular. Several of them were quite excited by the prospect of leafing through old Nintendo Powers, especially those who are, like me, now in their early to mid thirties and remember trading cheats out of the Classified Information column on the playground or trying to figure out a way to beat Warmech in Final Fantasy. Others, though, scoffed at the idea of a
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Survival Horror Without the Horror - Disaster Report (PS2)

Yes, you read the title correctly: 'Survival Horror without the horror.' "What the hell are you talking about, Areala?" Glad you asked. You'll note that if you remove 'horror' from 'survival horror' you are left with just one thing: survival. And while this description could apply to a great many games since nearly every video game has "not dying" as one of its prerequisites for winning, there's something to be said for a game that tries to take a different approach to things. Disaster Repo
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Lost In The Move

Often when a game is ported from one region of the world to another, significant changes are made, not least of which is usually an attempt to translate and localize the game for a new audience. Sometimes things are removed or altered for sociological reasons; a rather famous example is the graphical changes that accompanied Final Fantasy IV and Final Fantasy VI for the Super NES thanks to Nintendo of America's stricter policy on drinking and sexual themes in their games as compared to Nintendo
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Theresia (DS) - Point and Click and Die

I had to have it. The minute I laid eyes on it in my local game store, I knew that it was coming home with me. If there's one thing I'm a gigantic sucker for, it's horror-themed games. And as soon as I took Theresia off the shelf and read the description, I knew there was no chance I was leaving the store with exactly the same amount of money as I walked in with. No chance in hell. Theresia is a point-and-click adventure game developed with more...mature...themes in mind. We've seen
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