I've always thought that every so often Nintendo chose some odd titles to give cover treatment to with their magazine, and this issue's focus on Track & Field II is probably the first time I thought this. Granted, I've never been into sports games, so that probably explains some of it. But did they really think that anybody in their right mind would list this game alongside the likes of classics such as Super Mario Bros., Metroid, or Legend of Zelda? Track & Field II? Really...?

I gotta say, the cover art on this one goes far beyond bizarre. A pair of empty athletic shoes with what appear to be afterburners hauling ass down a racetrack with a post-apocalyptic sunset in the background and silhouettes of a runner, a hurdler, and a discus thrower in the upper-right corner just below the title...there just aren't words. At least there wasn't anything for parents to object to on this cover, unlike last issue...

Nintendo Power #3 - Nov/Dec. 1988 - 105 pages - $3.50

Track & Field II - Well, unlike last issue where the cover shows "Castlevania II" but we lead off with a story about "Bionic Commando", T&F II gets the royal treatment right off the bat, with complete descriptions of all twelve events (though the article claims there are 15...) and a list of strategies applicable to each one. It's like a complete Olympics package for your NES, and an awful lot of these events, like Fencing, have yet to be seen again in an Olympic video game compilation. Note that this is an attempt to simulate the events in a real-life fashion; the inspired comic absurdity of "Crash 'n the Boyz Street Challenge" is still a few years off.

Mickey Mousecapade - An early Disney foray onto the NES. A four-page write-up that offers some strategies but nothing terribly important. This was a game aimed at younger players, though, so it's not like it required the puzzle-solving skills of, say, Zelda.

Howard & NESTER - A much better comic than the last two have been, this is when the comic starts adopting a format that it will carry out for pretty much its entire run. Nester is challenged by his friends to locate one of the mansions in Castlevania II, only to screw it up and get lost. Howard shows up to set things right, but Nester's exuberance results in some unexpected consequences in a nod to actual gaming content from Simon's Quest. It's not gut-bustingly funny or anything, but it's a much better direction, and nowhere near as painful to read as the last two have been.

Following Nester's misfortune, we get a write-up on Blaster Master. This was one of my favorite games growing up, even though it is hard as hell. Full maps for stages 1 and 2 are provided, including the overhead-view areas where the boss fights take place. It's a great start, but a game like Blaster Master can always use more info.

You can tell it's the holiday season, because this issue gets a special Nintendo-themed gift section on the front of this issue's Poster. For the gamer who eats, sleeps and breathes Nintendo, this would be a one-stop shop. Games, hardware, clothing, and accessories are all listed, along with the phone numbers of the companies that manufacture them so that you can place an order. Blaster Master gets the honours of the obverse side of the poster, with a photographic showcase of a model of the tank built in real life. The detail on the model is awesome, and the pictures of the tank hovering and firing are pretty darn cool. Much better than the artwork on the last two posters.

Role Playing Games - "What's an R.P.G.?" asks Nintendo Power, and then proceeds to answer the question by featuring write-ups on "Ultima III: Exodus" and "Legacy of the Wizard". While I'm not entirely certain that I'd classify the latter as an RPG, the former certainly qualifies, and it's nice to see NP introducing the idea of the roleplaying game to readers.

Counselors' Corner - "Metal Gear" gets a ton of coverage here, with maps of the maze zone and Building 2, the steps required to earn more stars, and the locations of Card #7, the Compass, and the Rocket Launcher. "Rambo", "Double Dragon", and "Gauntlet" get the rest of the article. Also in this issue, we meet the first two female game counselors to be featured in the magazine, giving yet more proof that Nintendo isn't just for boys.

Classified Information starts off a bit sour by reprinting information that was already available in the Official Nintendo Player's Guide for "Gradius", but then redeems itself by throwing in cheats for "Seicross", "Zanac", "Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road", "Deadly Towers", and the infamous Minus World from "Super Mario Bros." Word is that the game counselors got more calls about the Minus World than any other secret or hint from any other game. Clearly printing the trick to it here didn't do anything to cut down on the requests for this little glitch.

These Are My Secret Weapons - A hardware-themed article showcasing the NES Advantage, NES MAX, and Acclaim Remote Controller, and explaining how the features like Slow-Motion and Turbo were handled. Brilliant idea, because nobody who read that article would want to play without one of those suckers. Once I got my Advantage, I never touched a regular control pad again.

Now Playing - The "Win, Lose, or Draw" clone "Anticipation" gets its own feature next, which seems entirely too much for a game like this. Six pages for a game about guessing what the NES is drawing on the screen? Guess they needed some filler. Blades of Steel skates in for a four-page summary. "Cobra Command" gets a really neat layout in the form of top secret blueprints for the helicopter. "Racket Attack" rounds out the article with a look at the strengths and weaknesses of every player, both male and female, in the game.

Video Shorts - "Bubble Bobble", "Paperboy", "Ghostbusters", "Tecmo Baseball", "Challenge Pebble Beach", "Dr. Chaos", "Tecmo Bowl", "Platoon", and "Milon's Secret Castle" all get the ad copy + screenshot treatment.

Pak Watch - Sports games, get yer sports games here! "NFL Football", "John Elway's Quarterback", "Touchdown Fever", "WWF Wrestlemania", "World Class Track Meet", "Super Team Games", "Dance Aerobics", "California Games", and "Skate or Die" all get a mention. "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde", "Hollywood Squares", and "Operation Wolf" are the only non-sports-related titles on the list.

Hot News - I wasn't sure if I should file this under Pak Watch as well, but it seems to be a separate article, confined to only one page. The word on the street is that two games based on "Spy vs. Spy", the wacky Mad Magazine comic of one-upsmanship between two rival agents, will be arriving on the NES before too long. Of the two games mentioned, though, the US only gets the first one. "Spy vs. Spy: The Island Caper" is released in Japan, but US development is cancelled for some reason. Such is the risk of printing news about games coming from far-off lands.

And now, the moment I have been dreading for the entire blog...Captain Nintendo. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time: write a story in which the NES becomes a pivotal part of saving the world. I'm not sure there is any way in the world this had a chance in Hades of succeeding, but it's rare to see such an idea fail so utterly spectacularly outside the realm of fanfiction (mostly because no professional publishing house would accept the bloody thing to begin with). Captain Nintendo is a roving disaster of a story revolving around a guy named Max Powers and his buddy Brett Randalls who, as it turns out, are employed by Nintendo of America in Washington state at their Research and Development Special Projects Department. Apparently, they play Metroid all day, and engage in their own special brand of geek-speak humour. "Have you two interfaced yet?" asks Max of their co-worker Tara. "No," Brett replies, "but I've been trying to boot up my courage files to ask her out all day." Seriously, I could devote an entire blog to this. Brett, naturally, winds up getting special powers when a box of microchips explodes and interfaces with the Metroid game, and they all bury themselves in his skin. The NES acquires an AI routine of its very own, and begins to talk in 80's slang that wasn't even cool in the 80's, much less 20 years later. The worst part of all? It's continued next issue. Plot absurdities abound. I can't wait...

Player's Poll this issue has a crap-ton of freebies up for grabs as prizes. Wish I would have entered.

NES Journal - Take a trip to WOOZ, a giant maze park in California. Yashuhisa Tsuruta beats Mike Klug in the RBI Baseball tournament. Dr. Power offers you a Cosmo-esque quiz to find out what sort of a gamer you are. Hrm...

Celebrity Profile - Jay Leno. Unfortunately, this is a story written about Jay Leno, and not by Jay Leno, which means it's not funny at all, but it does explain when he plays his NES and how he wound up with it. A nifty little story, even if it is all fluff.

Nintendo also sponsors a contest in this issue to Invent the Ultimate Video Game. You don't have to program, just write something creative about the game you would design, and the winners will get some Nintendo swag. Churning through all those entries had to have been a chore and a half.

Mail Box - Looks like the new title stuck. Tricking your parents into letting you play Nintendo, a possible sequel to the Official Nintendo Player's Guide, where do you get the tricks that you publish, and who created Mario? The absurd lengths one family goes to in order to get a copy of Nintendo's "Ice Hockey" and 5 tips for solving adventure games.

NES Achievers - The girls strike back! "Duck Hunt", "Kid Icarus", "Super Mario Bros." (three times), "Solomon's Key", "Stinger", "T & C Surf Designs", and "Wizards and Warriors" all get rocked by the fairer sex. Represent!

Video Spotlight - More kids who probably rue the day they appeared in the magazine now. We get our first female Power Player though (go Diane Supowit)!

Top 30 is all over the place. Zelda is still on top, but "Metroid" goes from #3 to #2, and "Metal Gear" shows up from out of nowhere to kick Tyson down into 4th place, while "Gauntlet", "Super Mario Bros. 2", "Bases Loaded", "Zelda II: The Adventure of Link" and "Double Dragon" all team up to bitch-slap "Kid Icarus" down into 10th place. It's a jungle out there!

We end with Howard Phillips' reminder about the invent-your-own-game contest, that you can give NP subscriptions as gift certificates, and that giving the gift of your own time to your family members by playing Nintendo with them is one of the best gifts you could give anybody. Man, did they know how to market, or what?

Until next time...