Simpsons Turd or Topaz

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The Simpsons has been a family tradition for me since I was 12 years old and season 1 had began in 1989/90. It would be something to look forward to every Sunday evening before the work week began. Unfortunately, the videogame spin-offs failed to leave an impressionable mark. In 1991, Acclaim got the rights to make three Simpsons games for the NES, Amiga, Master System, Game Gear, Atari and others.

Their first game that most are familiar with is Bart Vs The Space Mutants. Acclaim followed up with Bart Vs The World and Bartman Meets Radioactive Man. All three of these games suffered from unpredictable controls, a very high difficulty level and even higher levels of frustration.

Space Mutants was remade for the Genesis and Master System in 1992. Besides the graphics being remade, there was nothing added or changed except the location of Maggie on the last stage.

Bart Vs the World was a little different from Space Mutants. Some of the mini games were enjoyable such as the card matching game and there was more diverse gameplay over it's predecessor.

Bartman Meets Radioactive Man was the third and final Simpsons game released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1992. This one was no fun at all. The enemies would come out of nowhere and hit you with almost no way of avoiding them. The same monsters and follies would hamper Bart throughout each level in a repetitive manner leading to frustration and boredom. I really found this one to be be too boring to play.

I'm giving all three of these Simpsons games from Acclaim the Turd status.

In 1991 & 1992, Konami had also gained rights to make 2 Simpsons games. One was only released for the Disc Operating System platform (DOS), and the others were made for the arcade, Commodore 64 and PC DOS titled "The Simpsons Bart's House of Weirdness" and "The Simpsons Arcade Game" respectively. Konami had one other Simpsons game released in 2000 called "Simpsons Bowling" which I'll cover later.

In Bart's House of Weirdness you (Bart) are sent to your room for being bad. Imagination of a child prevails and you set out on 5 adventures in your house and around Springfield. I thought this game was missing something. You can move left and right in a typical linear game as well as use special weapons like your slingshot with rocks or marbles and a burp bomb.

There is a major problem with 2 levels in this game I cannot forgive. When you are in the attic you must climb your way up onto the beams of the roof to climb down into another section of the house. This is the challenge. There are bees that keep re-appearing and knocking you back to the beginning. After you eventually climb up to the beams you will be greeted by 4 bats that fly around you head and knock you back to the beginning. It gets frustrating but I was driven to accomplish this. Nails stick out of the beams in a pattern which just adds to the stress and if you manage to make it across before the bats return then you are lucky. If you die by a boss, you start over at the beginning of the level. If you lose all your lives you start over in your bedroom. Luckily, there is a save feature after you complete levels.

The final level is a test of skill, luck and patience. You have to save Krusty from Sideshow Bob in Krustyland. Sounds easy but it's not. You have to jump up onto logs that are coming down a waterfall to reach the next area. I must have fell down 100 times before I reached the top for the first time. If you thought that was the hard part your wrong. Now you have to swing across alligator filled swamps with shifty controls. Seriously, don't expect to make it across this part on your first ten tries. Sometimes when I would try and jump, I would just walk into the water and die or I would jump right through the swing seemingly without trying at all to grab the vine. When you die up here you start back before the waterfall.

I hated this game but it was okay to play once. I will never play it again unless I see someone in distress. (never gonna happen) I wouldn't feel right giving this game the Turd status as it's one of the better Simpsons games made so it gets the Topaz.

The Simpsons Arcade may be compared to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The Arcade Game. You have two buttons. One jumps the other attacks. Press them simultaneously and you do a special attack. You move in 8 directions like a 2.5 Dimensional fighting game. The enemies were boring because of no variety. In each level there are about 3 or 4 enemies that reappear 50 times each and then a boss battle.

I thought this game was so boring. In the arcade you play a 4 player game but on the PC DOS they have taken that out as well as other things. The Arcade version is superior although I will never play either again. There is no replay value. The Ninja Turtles game is better and I would play that one again. This is yet another Simpsons Turd.

The Simpsons made appearances on the hand-helds in the early to mid-nineties starting with the Gameboy game "Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly". You play as Bart Simpson in a camp where the counselors and Mr. Burns is trying to kill you. You have to capture the enemies flag and make it to the end of the stage while dodging or killing camp counselors with your boomerang or spitballs. The controls are responsive and predictable. The trick is that you have to stop and kill the enemies or climb a tree and go a little farther before repeating the process. Lives are scarce but donuts can be found by deceased enemies or near Lisa who also gives you boomerangs. I liked this game. It is rather short but would be a good game to pack along. This one is a Topaz.

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The second of four Simpsons games created for the original Gameboy was Bart Vs the Juggernauts released in 1992 by Acclaim. The story was, you are on a game show to win prizes plain and simple. The games are like the American Gladiators with the Jousting event, Basketball on a chess board with 2 Juggernauts and Skateboarding Joust. This game is fun. The graphics are okay for the Gameboy, the sound can be turned off and nothing is too difficult to learn. I really enjoyed this game and I give it a Topaz award.

Imagine trying to make a 20 yard putt to get a birdie and win the tournament. You know it takes alot of thought and concentration to transfer the precise movement and momentum to your golf club. Now out of nowhere, a neurotic young mouse named Itchy comes flying at you with a meat cleaver.

I don't know why Acclaim thought they could mix these two together. I've played some really good golf games in my time. One was on Windows 3.1, the second was Mario Golf the third was in Sports bars and arcades and had a rollerball to adjust the swing. These were all good golf games each with different approaches and styles. Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness had no qualities to make it fun as a golf game or a survival game. Scratchy moves the ball around the course which are more like platforms than a 9 hole course. You can pick up weapons to kill Itchy but he always comes back. They should have made a golf game with the Simpsons characters instead of making this abomination. Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness is a Turd.

The fourth game for the chromatic Gameboy of yore is called The Simpsons Bart and the Beanstalk released in 1994 by Acclaim. I didn't like this game at all. It was boring and repetitive. The controls didn't respond quick enough and it seemed an awful lot like shovel ware from a company that has been making Simpsons games for 4 years now. You have to collect coins before you can finish each level. The levels can be long and tedious making it worse to have to back track. Dieing is never fun but dieing and starting over at the beginning of the level is a brain aneurysm starting to happen. This game gets a Turd score.

Krusty's Funhouse was a puzzle game where you had to set up a path so the rats would walk into Bart's trap where they would be smashed by a rock covered with a boxing glove. It was released for Genesis, SNES, NES, Amiga, DOS, Game Gear, Gameboy and the Master System between 1992 and 1993.

Alot like Lemmings in nature but not as much thought out strategy. I found it easy to beat within a couple hours seamingly. There's not any reason to play it again because nothing is any different but it's worth a go for youngsters who are looking for a small challenge before they move onto Lolo or Kickle Cubicle. This is a Topaz.

The Simpsons Cartoon Studio was released in 1996 from Fox Interactive for Windows 95 and Macintosh. It was a design program you could use to put together Simpsons cartoons. It came bundled with characters, props and backgrounds on a CD ROM. I never had a chance to play this myself but from the reviews it scored okay. The times have changed alot for something like this. I could put together more complicated animations with only the Adobe Suite but there are others. Cartoon Studio is outdated by todays standards but this game still get's a Topaz.

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Ahh my favorite cat and mouse duo. And look, there on the 16 bit consoles now. Wow the graphics look just like the cartoon. Graphics are the only good thing about this boring repetitive door wedge. There is no adventure in this action game. Just action. The action of killing Scratchy over and over. You have to kill the small kitty's and collect the bones that come from the remains while temporarily killing Itchy. He comes back, you hit him. You collect bones, you kill Itchy and then start the next level. This is really boring. I can't believe they sold this to kids. Someone might get 20 minutes of fun out of it but it was not fun for me and there is only 1 player. You know I have to give this one a Turd, because it is one.

Acclaim made Virtual Bart in 1994 for Genesis and Super Nintendo. At the school's science fair Bart goes into a room that contains a virtual reality machine. He tries it on and gets to choose between a number of mini games. There is a diverse amount of games and they are actually fun yet challenging. On one level you slide down a water slide dodging people, avoiding the fat guy who plugs up one of the pipes (presumably Homer) and choosing the right path. If you choose the wrong path you end up at the edge of the city out a sewer pipe. There one game where you throw tomatoes at students and teachers on picture day and after the time limit is up, the picture get's taken with the after effect. I liked this game. It was one of the better Simpsons games that Acclaim made. This one earns a Topaz.

Fox Interactive was in charge of the 1997 PC/Mac game Virtual Springfield. Basically you navigated through the town as a third person visiting landmarks and exploring buildings and rooms. Some things can't be accessed until later in the game. There is lots to explore in Springfield and this was the first game to allow you to almost freely interact with all the Simpsons characters but, there isn't enough. Shenmue set the standard for detailed surroundings 2 years after this game came out and if I compared the two, Shenmue would beat it 10 to 1. If your a Simpsons fanatic or collector then you should find this game. You can't walk in any direction on any street but you can go down any street. It's annoying how sometimes you need to walk around the block just to change direction. This game plays like a tour. You click where you want to go, assuming the game allows you and you must wait until it stops. This is a good game, I just wanted more. I give it a Topaz.

There are 7 levels in The Simpsons Night of the Living Treehouse of Horrors. Fox Interactive and THQ made this one. I believe Acclaim is no longer licensed to make Simpsons games.

Level 1: Bart has to look for fuses to turn the lights on in some of the rooms or he will quickly be killed in the dark. Once the lights are turned on you go to the attic and kill an evil mop to free Santa's Little Helper. Like all Simpsons games to date for Gameboy, when you jump, you jump like a gibble. The Slingshot Bart uses and the gun Homer uses in level 4 arcs downward. The timing is a little off with that but otherwise the controls are good.

In Level 2 Maggie is transformed into a fly and she must search the kitchen to find the portal. Turn off a few switches and your done. It

s pretty simple here, almost mind numbing.

Level 3: This is hard. Marge carries a gun and shoots like the original Contra. Everyone is zombies and you simply need to reach the end and kill Zombie Krusty. Hold the B button and you strafe. Hold the A button and you fire continuously.

Level 4: This ones is a good puzzle. Homer needs to find switches to open timed gates in order to reach Mr. Burn's chamber. Mr. Burns is a Vampire. This level is easy if you can avoid being hit but it's not too hard if your patient.

Level 5: You have to find Homer's body parts in the nuclear power plant. Avoiding the workers is annoying. They walk around fixing things or writing stuff down and wal back and forth in a pattern. If you know they will climb this ladder you simply stand a millimeter on the opposite side. This is stupid and it was only added to make things harder. There's nuclear waste dripping from pipes yet they don't seem to care about that. I had trouble finding all the pieces. Since every part of the level looks the same, I couldn't tell if I had checked in certain place or not.

Level 6: Lisa has to find keys in rooms to unlock the caged students. It's real easy. You can actually hide from the teachers and Wily or simply jump over them. They added more rats to this level. Rats are annoying. This level is easy.

Level 7: Homer is Godzilla. Climb buildings. Stomp tanks. Smash buildings and kill people. This level was fun but they could have added some new ideas. I walked right through this one.

This was a good game. I would have like to see more stuff to do. You have to use a password to play each level and for some reason my cart wouldn't respond. I suppose this is only me though. I'll give this game a Topaz.

Konami made Simpsons Bowling in 2000. It's a rare arcade to find but not impossible in fact, last time I looked on Ebay, there was a used cabinet in good condition for about $1000 US. It'd be worth every penny if you ran a bowling alley, sports bar or arcade.

If you like Simpsons and love bowling or vice versa, you'll love this game. You pick up to four player out of a total of nine. There are two modes of play. Standard is just your usual 10-pin bowling with a custom character poses. If you bowl 3 strikes in a row (Turkey), you get a random special ball to use on the next frame. All characters use the same trackball to control the curve of the throw, position of the character, and all character movements and menu choices.

This is a very fun game to play. The learning curve is narrow. You'll be bowling strikes on your first game. In fact you'll likely bowl better stats in the game than you will for real. All the characters are balanced enough that if you look at their stats and handedness, you can capitalize on their strengths.

I love this game. It deserves the Topaz awards.

[Areala]

A very impressive set of reviews so far, Jake! Worthy of a blog entry or two, some might say...

*huggles*

Areala

[atik]

Great post Jake, enjoyed the review's and all the screen shot's. Man it's hard to believe that even with such a great series as the Simpsons to inspire them, that so many developer's have created so many mediocre game's.

I also enjoyed "Escape from Camp Deadly" on the gameboy but many of the other Simpson's game's that I've played really weren't very good and just seemed to totally rely on their licence to get people to buy them.

I haven't played the Simpsons game which came out for the Xbox 360 a while ago but I think I heard somewhere that it isn't too bad so I might check it out.

[Mister Zero]

I had no clue there were so many Simpsons games. I've never touched the GameBoy games but you've convinced me to try Camp Deadly.

I have to ask you why you don't make your reviews into blog entries instead of threads? Anyhow, good review so far. Your rating system for this one is great. Looking forward to reading the rest.

[Areala]

Man it's hard to believe that even with such a great series as the Simpsons to inspire them, that so many developer's have created so many mediocre game's.

A great license, unfortunately, does not automatically equate to a great game. Witness 75% of the Star Wars titles to have been released over the years. For every "Knights of the Old Republic" or "Rogue Squadron" there's a "Rebel Assault" or "Jedi Arena" or "Masters of Teras Kasi". Hmmm...might be a blog post in there somewhere...

*huggles*

Areala

[atik]

Unfortunately your absolutely right Areala. If I had a euro for every Star Wars game that I was looking forward to but then was ultimately disappointed by I'd be a rich man.

I guess to create a great game you need the developer's to be both talented and also passionate fan's who will treat the source material with the respect that it deserves.

It's just a pity that it sometime's feel's like the planet's have to be alligned in order for this to happen.

[Areala]

Sorry...I couldn't resist...

http://www.retromags.com/forums/blog/6/entry-77-let-the-hate-flow-through-you-the-worst-star-wars-games-to-date/

*huggles*

Areala