miketheratguy

Throw in another vote for a proper Actraiser sequel. I've mentioned the original game to my buddy as a good candidate for an upcoming episode of our podcast; it's one of my favorite games for the SNES. That game inspired me to imagine another type of cross-over game that sounded incredibly cool: Sim City / Final Fight. How awesome would it be to design a functional city - placing parks, police stations, houses, zoos, etc. - and then zoom down into that same city to personally beat up the criminals who infest it? I mean why not, in Final Fight Haggar is actually the city mayor!!! I questioned why we never got a game like this until I got older and realized that the demographics that would be served by the crossover of such disparate genres would consist of myself and..... ...Idunno, myself? SHADOWRUN. The SNES version. I want that sequel yesterday. CRACKDOWN. An ACTUAL sequel. Not a re-release of the first game with half the content missing. STARFLIGHT. One of the best games ever made, and the only available sequel is an obscure ancient proto-DOS game or something. I demand a sequel / remake this instant! SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS. A sequel wouldn't make much sense for reasons that I won't explain, but I still want another game that lets me take down a bunch more colossi. God, this game was a work of art. WRESTLING MPRE. A super-indie, super-ugly wrestling game that somehow manages to be the most addicting and immersive simulation of the business ever made. Work your way up from the scrub leagues, deal with disreputable promoters, negotiate your salary and creative control, sell out for promotional deals, take steroids, compete in memorial shows after fellow wrestlers die in car accidents... This game has it all! It looks like crap and controls kind of wonky so a modern sequel (or much more polished remake) would be a wrestling fan's dream. RIVER CITY RANSOM. Because it's River City Ransom! Mercilessly pummel all-white gang members, watch them barf, take their coins, and hear the lamentations of their women! CHRONO TRIGGER. I mean duh, right? NESTER'S FUNKY BOWLING. Because I'm curious to see if you're actually reading this. SILENT HILL. Remember when this series was brilliance for like two and a half games? Let's make another one that's good! CLASH AT DEMONHEAD. One of the NES' most original, ambitious, and underrated titles. TIMESPLITTERS. Because two fast, wild, hilarious, immensely satisfying shooter masterpieces is not enough! RED DEAD REDEMPTION. A nun gave me a holy trinket for performing honorable deeds so I hogtied her, laid her on the railroad tracks and watched the train splatter her into a million innocent giblets. And I got an achievement for it. MORE!!! OMIKRON: THE NOMAD SOUL. The marketing for sci-fi adventure game Omikron made it sound as if the gameplay revolved around the ability to jump into the first random NPC to cross your path when you died, creating an experience of perpetual unpredictability and nonlinear exploration. This wasn't the case, but the game DID have David Bowie. I WANT THE REBIRTH OF OMIKRON, AND I WANT THE REBIRTH OF DAVID BOWIE!!!

I can't say because I simply can't disconnect myself from the film enough to give an unbiased opinion. The Hobbit and The Goonies were in perpetual rotation in my VCR for the majority of my childhood, so I don't think I have the ability to step outside my own memories and accurately reflect on whether they hold up on their own. I want to say that they do (and their ever-growing fanbase would seem to confirm this) but I wouldn't feel confident being any kind of objective authority. I was overwhelmed with satisfaction when I watched Jackson's LOTR trilogy (well, with the first and third films, anyway. Second one was kind of boring until the third act) so I was one of the many people who was at least somewhat disappointed with the Hobbit films. I've actually gone back and forth a lot regarding which of the three I like best (or, contrarily, least). Strangely I think that The Desolation of Smaug might hold up for me the least. Man, looking back it really is kind of incredible to think that each book in the dense and complex Lord of the Rings trilogy got a single film whereas the short children's book The Hobbit got three.

Right, I can get behind that logic. As for Gamestop, they seem to have gotten better over the years (and I guess it depends on the particular store that you visit) but yeah, I was really disillusioned while working there. At least the second time, which was in late 2001 when it was still just Funcoland. That's the first time I was ever taught the trick of opening a Playstation jewel case without the customer knowing. All you had to do was separate the front plate (which contained the instruction manual) from the back plate (which contained the disc) which required nothing more than gently pulling the hinge at the bottom left corner of the case to unlatch the two pieces. Then you could lift up the front of the case like a treasure box, freely exposing the disc while leaving the bar code sticker - which went across the top of the jewel case and kept its upper portion stuck together - intact. By doing this you could flip through the instructions, pop out the disc, archive it (or even play it) and then just quietly pop it back into the "sealed" case and hook that bottom hinge back together to sell the game as "new". That wasn't the only unethical crap I was exposed to at that store. I once saw someone buy a game brand new - at least, it was presumably new given what I just described above - and open it to look at the instructions in the store while he waited for a friend to arrive. When he did, the two of them left to go somewhere else in the mall. Not five minutes later the guy came back, flustered over the fact that he'd bought the wrong game. It was something like he'd heard that the 2K sports games were good but didn't realize that they name the games a year ahead and bought the previous year's version by mistake. He politely explained the situation while asking if he could be refunded his money to buy the newer game instead. Nope, the manager said. He'd already opened the game so all they could do was give him store credit, which was of course something like a paltry quarter of what he'd just paid for it. It wasn't even that he'd left the store and could conceivably (though unlikely) have somehow made himself a copy of it or something. Nope, the mere fact that he'd removed the game's packaging was enough to change it from "new" to "used" status. Which would be understandable if not for the utter hypocrisy of the store selling "new" games that had already been subjected to the exact same handling by the employees. That's not all. When I worked there in '95 all anybody cared about was upselling. We made a commission for every copy of whatever product was chosen as the "big ticket" item that month. In October or November of that year it was Monopoly for the Sega Genesis, for some unholy reason. And when it wasn't that (well hell, even if it was), it was the damn cleaning kits. Cleaning kits and memberships. Funco drilled you HARD about buying cleaning kits and memberships, extolling the alleged virtues of both, for no other reason that the employees got a little extra scratch from the bigwigs who ordered them to push those items. It didn't matter if they worked or were any good. Buy them because our "numbers" go up. Back to 2001 again, we had a revolving door of managers and one of them wound up being a young, skinny Asian guy named Tony. He couldn't have been half a year into 18 and it was already difficult taking instructions from him while I was in my twenties, but I did what I was told. The guy had a flat affect, never smiled or showed any emotion. He was very monotone and cold, which made his smugness all the more evident. It didn't take long for the guy to rub me the wrong way when, on our first day of working alone together, I tried to pass dead time by making small talk to which he responded "just because there aren't any customers doesn't mean that we have to be talking". When customers did come in I started noticing that he'd hover next to them, just standing there quietly with his hands behind his back. I asked him about it and he told me that it was all about establishing his presence in order to discourage theft. I told him that he was obviously violating the customers' personal space and making them uncomfortable and he said that "good, then they'll think twice about taking anything if they know that someone's watching them". The key moment that made me quit was when Tony told me that if a customer asked about a game, I was to push it. Push it hard. Tell them it's great, urge them to buy it, enthuse about it whether I'd actually even played it or not. If I knew that the game was shit, then just lie. I told him that I was really uncomfortable about this and that we're supposed to be there to assist the customers, not manipulate them. He replied "Fuck them. Their purpose is to give us money. We're here to sell games". This was my manager telling me this. I said that I wasn't going to be able to do what he was telling me to, that I had too much integrity to treat people like that. He said "that's why you'll never be manager here". I said "You're right" and quit the next day. TL;DR: Deceptive aggressively profit-driven retail monopolies are bullshit.

This is totally accurate. I only ever played the first Fear Effect (back when it was almost called "Fear Factor". Not to be confused with "Fear Factory". Or, eventually, "Fear Factor"). I got probably fifteen minutes into the game - if that - before I was assaulted with some kind of ridiculously over-convoluted "connect this jumble of wires to the proper terminals within three seconds or DIE!!!!" puzzle. At least that's how I remember it going down, anyway. As much as I would have liked to see the rest of the game I never bothered past that very early point. Not so much because I found it to be ruthless (which, at the time, I felt it was) but because I don't want my video games to feel like part of the two-day math and comprehension tests that they put you through when you apply for a job at Motorola. Lol nothing says "buy our point and click adventure game" like LESBIANS ARE SEXY. ...I mean, this is TRUE, but......zuh? First I chuckled and shook my head. Then I noticed a funny feeling in my loins and shrugged. Huh. I guess the ads are effective.

If I recall correctly the ads for Fear Effect 2 were literally nothing but the two female protagonists rubbing each other in their underwear. ....That's not even sarcasm.

See I actually think that it holds up, but then I watched it many, many, many times as a kid. When I saw it for the first time since childhood - in like 1997 or so - I was surprised that I still remembered the images, the songs, and even the inflection in characters' voices. It's entirely possible that someone who hasn't seen the cartoon on like twenty years would think that it was better left in childhood, especially after seeing the Jackson movies, but Idunno. I think that it's still a charming and tidy little rendition of the famous story (with a final scene that's equal parts happy and ominous, however that's possible). The Ralph Bakshi Lord of the Rings cartoon, on the other hand? That one's a different story. What a bizarre, awkward, wildly uneven (if incredibly ambitious) film that is.

Can you read Japanese or is it translated?

Well, to each their own. I can respect your position but it's not one that I personally share. I like having the ability to sell things that I no longer want, and buy things that other people no longer want. I don't believe that the original manufacturer / publisher / what have you / should be compensated for every instance of their products changing hands after retail, nor be allowed to prevent the change of hands from happening just because they aren't. To me that's akin to two kids trading baseball cards on the playground and then having a Topps representative step in and say "you can't do that, you have to each buy new cards instead".

MMMMMMMMM DELICIOUSLY SUPERFLUOUS!!!!!!

Oh man, used sales. That's ANOTHER thing they're desperate to get rid of by going digital.

I had the hugest crush on Vickie. Don't judge. I was young and stupid.

My philosophy is this: I don't have much expendable income to throw around and let's face it, downloading something from the internet is nearly impossible to resist because it's easy and in many cases free. I'll download something to check it out, and if I truly enjoy it then I'll buy it. The movie Drive, for example. Last year I downloaded that movie on a whim because the description sounded good (I'd somehow managed to avoid any and all of the extensive hype that the film had apparently generated during its run) and wound up falling absolutely head over heels in love with it. Over the following couple of weeks whenever I happened to find myself in a store I made it a point to look for a copy of the movie and bought one the instant that I spotted it. The disc has no noteworthy special features, isn't in any way superior to the copy that I still had on my laptop, and was a completely redundant item to have spent my money on. But you know what? I was happy to get a physical copy of the film in exchange for my support. The digital copy may be more convenient but the dvd is something that I can see, hold, and point to as it sits on the shelf, neatly displayed alongside all of the other movies that I love. That, to me, makes physical ownership completely worth it.

Yeah, that's just one of my problems with the game. Seriously though, big lol. "Sephi stuffy". I'm totally stealing that term.

That actually shocks me. Getting another console from that time in a bundle that packed would probably cost a couple hundred dollars, at least. I'm definitely not trying to crap on you guys for collecting the Virtual Boy. There's nothing wrong with it so more power to you. I'm just surprised that anyone would have any interest in owning one, since apparently no one even wanted one when it was widely available. As for my own experience with the Virtual Boy, it was about twenty seconds with a promotional unit that sat on the counter of the Funco that I worked at in 1995. That was about all that I needed.

These three pictures show more Virtual Boy merchandise than was sold during the console's actual retail lifespan.

Impressive. Not many people want to even touch a Virtual Boy, let alone buy one as well as its entire library of games! That's dedication.

Yeah Sega's old consoles always did have a problem with washed-out colors for some reason. Still, I found that the game replicated the arcade experience about as well as one could have hoped for back in the day. And the soundtrack was awesome. If I may: Turn the bass really high and this thing really kicks. And dig that rad 1980s guitar solo at 1:12.

I'd never played the SNES version of the game so once Howard started doing the comparison at the wrap-up I was actually pretty disappointed. Aside from that four-player option (which neither of us were even able to take advantage of) the SNES version is most definitely superior. On the one hand it's a bit of a bummer that it feels like we sort of "wasted" a game due to our natural assumption that the arcade version was better, but at the same time I like that we discovered this live on the show. It provided sort of an extra touch of authenticity that wouldn't have been there had we actively sought whichever format of the game was the best one ahead of time. We just wanted to do an arcade game, it's kind of funny that we happened to pick one that was superior on consoles. I get a kick out of Howard's continued references to his hatred of Monkey Island too. He keeps calling it by the wrong name and I honestly believe that it might not be deliberate. I'd love to work in another game in the series but he honestly might be so reluctant to do one that it might never happen. Maniac Mansion, on the other hand, I'm definitely going to have us do at some point. Given the reasons for his dislike of MI, I don't think that he'd find that one nearly as bad. Well, the NES version of it at least! Speaking of Monkey Island, I told him what you thought about that subject - how you could respect and understand his opinion but why it irked you that he was so hung up on what he perceived to be inexcusable limitations. In response he laughed and said "He was irritated listening to me complain about the game for twenty minutes? I was irritated for the ten hours of my life that I had to spend playing it. He can blow me". LOL don't worry, it was in jest.

Just acquired those very things myself last month. Aside from the fact that the sharpness of A New Hope is a little high and that each of the files are ridiculously huge in size, they really are amazing work. The closest we'll ever get to having modern versions of the unaltered OT, at least until Disney realizes that it likes having all the money in the world and releases official versions themselves.

Yep, Don Bluth. Beautiful traditional animation and a somber, mature story. It's great stuff, classic 1980s. I find John Goodman to be a really likeable personality in general. He was pitch-perfect on Roseanne - totally believable in the role - but I also like his serious stuff as well. To be fair I enjoy watching him in just about anything. Hell, he made The Flintstones bearable.

Awesome! Keep 'em coming, big guy!

Oh it was a fantastic game when judged against what was available on consoles at the time. To go from something like Double Dragon to Final Fight was an amazing leap, and the game was a great SNES launch title because it clearly communicated the kind of power the new system had. But yeah if you rented it and ran home excitedly to play it with your buddy (as I did) the initial waves of confusion and disappointment at the lack of a two-player mode were pretty strong. The Sega CD version made up for it, it was pretty much arcade perfect to what I remember.

Ah, Mario World and Actraiser. Two classic games (and I agree, the sim section of the game was the best part and served to enhance the action sections that surrounded them). Final Fight was well done for what it was but I was deeply disappointed that it was only single-player (and didn't feature Guy, my favorite character!).

Great story, I always like hearing about someone else who, as a kid, went the lawnmowing / odd job route to earn their way to a video game or video game console. I did the same thing for the aforementioned Final Fantasy II. The Ducktales issue was another good one, I have some great summertime memories of that. While I don't remember the SNES poster that you described, I do remember how exciting the SNES preview coverage was. That's another reason why the FFII issue was so special to me: It wasn't just covering a game that I had insane anticipation for, it was one of the very first SNES games that the magazine spent a lot of time talking about. Can you remember what those first couple of games that you bought were?

Do you guys have specific issues of NP that stood out as particularly exciting to get in the mail? Those days when you'd just been WAITING and WAITING to get your magazine, looking out the window for the postal worker or maybe running to the mailbox after getting off the bus after school, only to be startled with giddy anticipation when you saw that the new issue was there? It was like Christmas and absolutely nothing else mattered for the next hour. Your day, your week, and in some cases your whole month was made. I can think of three specific issues of Nintendo Power that had this magical effect on me as a kid: * Mar / Apr 1989 (Ninja Gaiden). My first issue of Nintendo Power ever, at least after the promotional issue 1 that I got as a member of the Nintendo Fun Club. I'd subscribed right away but for some reason there was a delay - probably due to unexpected demand - and waited several long, long months wondering when I'd ever get my magazine. It was both exciting and horrible to see new issues in the hands of my friends, meekly asking if I could see them, only to have to go home and desperately await the day that the same issue would arrive in my own mailbox. And it never did...until the magazine's fifth issue. I happened to be spending the last day of a week-long stay at my older sister's, due to my parents being out of town for a funeral, and when they arrived to pick me up they surprised me with my first issue of Nintendo Power, a bag of Mcdonalds, and a trip to the local game store where I would go on to rent Monster Party. I don't think that I would have been able to describe my level of bliss. * Sep / Oct 1990 (Maniac Mansion). First there was the little blip of a preview near the end of the Mar / Apr or May / Jun issue which casually mentioned that my favorite computer game EVER, Maniac Mansion, was suddenly about to hit the NES. And just like that, the Jul / Aug issue announced that the game would be getting extensive coverage next. For some reason the nearby stores often got their issues before I did, so when I happened to be checking out Kay-Bee Toys (remember that place?) at the end of the summer I did a double-take when I saw Nintendo Power, with an outstanding clay diorama of Maniac Mansion on the cover, looking back at me from a little standee near the registers. I grabbed a copy and found a nearby aisle with adequate shelf space where I sat myself down and pored over that glorious issue for a good hour. This time my own copy of the magazine came pretty quickly and I got it only a few days later. * January 1991 (Mega Man 3). I was in 6th grade around Christmas of 1990 when I saw one of my fellow classmates with a copy of this issue. The only game that came close to exciting me as much as Maniac Mansion did at that time was Mega Man 3, and to see it get a mammoth amount of coverage in NP - capped by a beautifully colorful cover - sent me into withdrawals as I waited what felt like an especially long time to get my own copy (there must have been some kind of error going on at the time - the next issue, the equally colorful and exciting Startropics issue, was late for me by almost a month). Honorable mentions: November 1991, because Final Fantasy II, and my free copy of Dragon Warrior, because obvious.